Best blog I wrote in 2007

So let me just start with this word : LENT.

Yes people L-E-N- to the T.

Lent. 

Lent (lĕnt)
n.

The 40 weekdays from Ash Wednesday until Easter observed by Christians as a season of fasting and penitence in preparation for Easter.

Now technically it’s kind of a sin for me to go round telling folks what I have given up and the Bible says something to the effect of ‘if you are fasting (NB. In Lent you should be doing 3 things: Fasting, Almsgiving aka Charity , and Prayer)  don’t go around looking depressed and hungry’ ( Im paraphrasing naturally ) and ‘ if you are almsgiving don’t go shouting from the rooftops how freakin generous you are’  because then you are doing it for the wrong reasons.

It isn’t about being lauded and complimented for the good you are doing by helping others- but yet it is about helping others- Comprehende? If you are doing things you make yortself appear better to others then you have missed the point of what Lent is really about.

That is the backstory – the reason im telling anyone who’ll listen that I have been forced into giving up alcohol  for Lent is simply because I want sympathy.

I don’t know what the Bible says about that and frankly I don’t wanna know – because Im sure it revolves around me not complaining to people about my current situ- and as you can see Im in direct opposition to that particular way of thinking…

Anyhoo my Darling MySpace-supremo of a Sister- George aka Diva G (?!... No I Love the name reeeeeeally! )  pipes up that she thought it:  ‘ would be a good idea for me to stop drinking’

Yes that’s right, youi heard me – she said:

‘ a GOOD idea for me to GIVE up drinking for Lent’

QuÉ ?!

People pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeee bear in mind I have a glass    (or five) of Champagne- not exactly hard liquor is it? AND if you saw the teeny-weeny size of the glass..    BESIDES I only have them when I go out and that ( of recent anyway) is like twice a week- hardly a bottle a night…anyhooooooo…

So Obviously I INSTANTLY 86’d the idea.

No, No, NO-  I was going to start doing something  extra for Lent instead.

 Yes,  something like… Stop arguing with my sister, or eat less chocolate or help old ladies cross the road- you know the achievable (yet-just-as-meaningful ) Lentern promises that are easy to keep!

So I thought it was over until later at the family dinner it is brought to the table once more by my (insert own choice of word here ) sibling Georgie  dearest…

But to my horror the suggestion of me giving up my fave friend Veuve Cliqueot is  greeted with resounding cries and cheers in agreement???!!

 Even my ingénue of a younger sister – thinks it would be ‘’ WISE’’ ?! ( She’s ten- and I’m confused…)

Hold up one freakin second!!

 My life,  I repeat MY life, had all of sudden become fodder for the critical mass !!

 I should freakin think not!  but as I desperately struggled to defend my inalienable,  well-earned, well-deserved, basic human right to consume alcohol 2x a week- and fought back disturbing suggestions like ‘’ Maybe if you just reduced your intake….’’  I realised that I had become in my 

I mean I felt like I was the star of my own A&E INTERVENTION or something , at anyt given point I expected some sort of drill sergeant to pack me off to a camp for kids who misbehave. It was outrageous – I mean they are telling all this to me.

ME!! The closest living relative of the Virgin Mary for God’s sake!

 ( And before you start - Of course I'm not taking the Lord’s name in vain ! We are distantly related Dahling so it doesn’t count... ) 
( And if you're thinking I just abolished my love & respect for the Lord,  by just taking his name in vain- you would be right. Thanks for noticing and I'll be sure to ask for your opinion again... )  Anyhooooo  where was I? Oh yes the family suggestions... well  they were  abhorrent to me and seriously disturbing.

Then I had a Lightbulb moment ( shout out to Oprah for coining that phrase )

 I realised that the more I argued,  the more I convinced them that I needed to quit drinking – for 6 weeks anyway.

 Because believe me - when IN MY DEFENCE - I was putting forward arguments like '' my social life will be over..'' the ghastly expressions in the Jury- I mean family -  said it all.

So I have been on this Lenten journey of no alcohol  ( EXCL. Sundays – THANK the LORD himself,  we only have to do 40 days like Jesus did and not  45 like the calendar stretches Lent out to be )  for 3 very loooooong weeks – but  just by  venting my  (obvious) frustration,   I can see now that the suggestion was well needed and looooong overdue. 

I realise now that perhaps my attachment to Champagne and the festivities that come with it,  were clearly being enjoyed a tad too much.

  And I guess you can actually have too much of a good thing? Maybe,  I dont really know , certainly there is such a thing as excess- and  Lord knows I have the Visa bills to prove it…

Even as I type,  Im surprised that I have even arrived at such an interesting conclusion.

But its simply because I arrived at this conclusion,  that I thought - I would share it (  with as many people as could bear to read it ).

And If you learnt something from it , then ....( please tell me what it was because even I'm lost now) .  NO really – if you learnt something. Great.

If you didn't - it doesn't really matter – because I DID.