If I know anything, its that the only person who can alleviate the drama for you- will ultimately be YOU. As bleak as that is! Of course friends provide the distraction and may help take your mind off things (and the power of that is never to be underestimated) but anything that is substantially painful and hurting you can only be fully removed by you...
But I have learned that almost everything that happens in our lives is a DIRECT result of our own behaviours. Well that and God if you ask me - but for the non religious folk, I think the power of the self fulfilling prophecy , must never be forgotten. Do you know what I mean?
Its like if we tell ourselves that our life is a complete mess and overwhelmingly awful and impossible to get through - then it sure as hell it will be.
Words are so powerful. I think that its isn't as simple as saying : '' Im great - and so happy '' and then magically changing things to be that way but I believe by saying : '' Im going to be okay- this too shall pass, Im going to get through this period in my life and I'll feel better in the morning'' etc, etc It will help lessen the burden your carrying. Because you are choosing to look at the glass half full.
U know Im a realist, so if the day is a bad one- I aint gonna lie- what's the point? However when I went through some of the hardest points in my life in '07- nearly collapsing from overwork being immersed in unhappiness because I am drowning in debt etc, etc - the only thing that eventually got me to a better place about it all was that I changed my PERSPECTIVE. The overworked situ remains - the freakin debt remains but the unhappiness doesn't.
In the serenity prayer that I say every night, it has a line which says :
'' Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time and accepting hardship as the pathway to peace ''
and u know I try and remember that continually through all the nonsense and drama.
If I deal with just that day and dont think and definitely DO NOT SAY: ' Oh God Im working a 7-day week this week and I wont get a break until next Sunday ' etc, etc then guess what? Somehow I get through Monday.
And the slightest small moment of joy, I acknowledge and am grateful for (even if its a trivial sham like wedges are back at Mickey D's and I love 'em - and I can remember when I had zero pence in my accounts and could not even contemplate buying fast food because I couldnt afford to waste the £3 quid!) You know?
And in the bleakest moments, I somewhere inside of me try to think that ' EVERYTHING happens for a reason - and I'll grow from this and learn a valuable lesson. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger, its always darkest before the dawn and a million other anecdotes like it! And that is even when I dont really believe it at the time! ha! But clearly something in my thinking has the ability to change my situation. Because strangely all of sudden you wake up and its like : '' Sh1t I got through that! Remember when I was coming home from Job 1 getting under the covers and just trying to sleep because I was so freakin depressed?! '' But you have come through to the other side and u dont remember how or when , but you know that you did because you remember the tears you shed when you were at your lowest.
You will come through all things - you have to have the faith- you have to remember all the good in your life and focus on that - you have to read stories from people who have triumphed over adversity much, much greater than your own and by comparison see just how surmountable your TEMPORARY upsets can be.
''If you want something you have never had - you must do something you have never done '' and I think you may if you change your outlook on things and deal with your dramas in a completely different way than you usually do, you will get a different outcome than all the other times.
It aint easy but I have faith in folks and please know that if Pain was a handbag weighing you down Id offer to help you carry it if I could :-)
xx-xxx-xx
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